Halfway to our home in Montana, I received word of the untimely death of my cousin Carolyn. Immediately I knew I wanted to attend her memorial service — and catch up with cousins I have not seen in years. Aren’t they handsome men? Each is professionally successful and true to the faith — and busy with their own extended families, just as we are. Since I grew up in New York and they were raised in Idaho, our paths have seldom crossed. Their parents are some of my adored aunts and uncles. These cousins, plus Carolyn herself, attended my own mother’s memorial service in Utah just last year, which I missed. Our family was so blessed by their support. Of course I scheduled a flight to Boise just days after we returned home.
Years ago I taught a class of Primary girls in Aurora CO. About four years later, I was assigned to the same group of girls, then 14 and 15 years old. They were an unforgettable, diverse group, whom I have observed from afar through Christmas letters and Facebook, as they raised children and slogged through the ups and downs of life. I cried with Melanie when a beloved son died — and promised to stop and hug her on one of our trips to Seattle. But we had not driven that direction in three years, so she was the first one I telephoned about my trip to Boise.
Of course she could pick me up from the airport, the day before the funeral! Of course I was invited to stay in her home! This became an experience I will treasure forever… Her husband and children were delightful. We talked and cried for about twelve hours. A scrumptious meal was produced. Her mama — my dear old friend — dropped by to eat with us. After hearing the life challenges through which they have each passed, my heart ached. But they are persevering and firm in the faith and they will endure to the end. I am so proud to have them as my friends!
The next morning they delivered me to the funeral, which became a lovely family reunion. I knew my brother Scott and his wife would drive up, even though they were on-the-clock to return quickly as the dehydrating machine preserved their bountiful backyard harvest in Bountiful UT, five hours to the south. (Best name ever, I think, for a community.)
There was a long line of us waiting to see Carolyn in her casket. I visited with her friends in line before shaking the hand of each of her nine children. I had met only the oldest, prior to that day. Carolyn had stayed busy raising her children in Idaho all the time I had been raising my family in Colorado. I know there were many years we did not own a car reliable enough to cross the mountains, so we missed out on many occasions with the extended family. I always looked up to Carolyn, because she was older than me and had overcome many challenges in life.
Of course there were display tables of photos from Carolyn’s life. She wanted to distribute her treasures on this occasion, so her lovely daughters made this happen: the vast extended family were invited to take items of jewelry, her books, items she had sewn and knitted. I took a sweet lamb pin — one of a bowlful. She had made and given away hundreds of these, to remind her family and friends of the Good Shepherd.
I was touched to discover that Carolyn did this — just as I have made and given away Christmas lamb ornaments for thirty years, on three continents…
The memorial service included talks and music from each child and many of the grandchildren. I was not surprised to learn that Carolyn played the organ, or that she and her husband had served as senior missionaries and temple ordinance workers. Her brothers Bob and John also spoke well.
After the burial, I was privileged to eat with my cousins at the meetinghouse. One is about to have another book published! I met Bob and John’s wives for the first time, and loved them immediately. Lois and Bob dropped me back to the airport.
Lots of tears and music and laughter. A somber time in Boise, remembering two who died too soon. I am so grateful that I could be there.
Displays in the Boise and Billings airports reminded me of cousin Kent and Richard’s father, who dedicated his life to building fish ladders to help the spawning fish negotiate dammed waters. We never forget those we love, and we will see them again in the next life…
Marty, my Mr. Reliable, was there at midnight to pick me up from the airport in Billings. No complaints from him, even though he is usually asleep at 9 p.m. He was just overjoyed that he did not have to drive for this particular trip!
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